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Just make this annoying thing go away.
If you want to change, create tension.
Some people join the army to do this. I don’t know if it works for them. Thankfully there are other options.
Place limits on yourself, even though you don’t need to.
Break up your unhappy relationship, even if it’s comfortable.
Stop talking, stop going out, or change your diet for 30 days.
Refuse to leave your house until you’ve made progress.
Move somewhere different. Get rid of your stuff.
Quit your job, even if you have no other options.
When you start nowhere, you have nothing to lose. When you get rich and famous, you go on defense and, next thing you know, you’ve lost your way. You don’t produce relevant work any more because your purpose is to defend what you’ve built and avoid to mistakes.
Those that are able to keep tension in their lives despite their success are those that will endure and have a chance to become great. Those that coast on their success will not. One is easy. One is hard. Choosing is not obvious.
†
June 30th, 2010 at 12:07 pm
What do you think about creating the tension of sitting still/staying put? No, I’m not being a smart ass; this time. ;)
But, seriously, those suggestions of yours are good for people who struggle with inertia and motivation. For those of us who are in a constant state of change, whether by circumstance or choice, do you think the “change” of not changing would be just as impacting?
I’m really curious, just so you know. :)
June 30th, 2010 at 12:25 pm
agree 100%. All of that starts with the mind. You have to decide to make a change and decide to stay committed to that change.
We are very focused on externals that we can’t control: others, our house, our car, our stuff. When the only thing we need and should focus on is our will.
Great post, as usual. Love reading ya!
June 30th, 2010 at 12:36 pm
@Leanne, I agree with you. How do we know which one we need though?
June 30th, 2010 at 1:16 pm
You just have to read Robert Fritz – “Path of least resistance” and/or “Creating”. He talks about designing ’structural tension’ [not emotional tension] into your life/business. Amazing thinking. Life changing [or unchanging - if that's what you're after].
June 30th, 2010 at 1:33 pm
That last paragraph says it all.
June 30th, 2010 at 1:40 pm
Hmm, thank you for writting this article for me:
Place limits on yourself, even though you don’t need to.
Instead of wasting money on cigaretes and unhealthy food, now I literally “starve”. I don’t eat during the day, what’s the point of eating crap? Waste.
Break up your unhappy relationship, even if it’s comfortable.
I have stopped going out with toxic people. I have met around 250 people from my city, yet most of them are keeping me down, by not being motivated, but refusing to educate themselves and so forth. Waste.
Stop talking, stop going out, or change your diet for 30 days.
Read the above ;)
Refuse to leave your house until you’ve made progress.
I am spending most time at work and home. I am tired of wasting my time with pointless things. Waste.
Move somewhere different. Get rid of your stuff.
I am moving to the capital in 4 months. Better oppourtinies there. I trowh away all the things that are old and not needed(I gave the books to the university and clothes to different people). Waste.
Quit your job, even if you have no other options.
A year ago I was working at McDonalds, disgusting place to work, unless you are 6-7 level at the company. I decided to quit. EVERYONE said I am making a mistake, now I am working at two places(both of them are part-time, web development).
Everyone is critizing me for being “burn-the-bridges” man. If you are like me, don’t listen to people, listen to your voice, the rest will come along.
June 30th, 2010 at 7:00 pm
What a cool and essential post.
It’s a kick in the ass that I need right now – and it feels really good.
I believe the same – only tension can create real change. If you are complacent and resting on your ass, the world will pass you by.
Time to get mad right now
June 30th, 2010 at 10:46 pm
Julien,
Another perfectly timed post. I’m wondering if you’ve noticed that it’s this “tension” that causes this sort of cycle – learning/absoption that leads to creation/production that leads to doing/action that leads to a bit of coasting/defending that brings us back to the point of “tension” and it starts all over again? This is just something that I’m noticing in my life and I wonder if you see it that way too.
Joe
June 30th, 2010 at 10:47 pm
Julien,
Another perfectly timed post. I’m wondering if you’ve noticed that it’s this “tension” that causes this sort of cycle – learning/absorption that leads to creation/production that leads to doing/action that leads to a bit of coasting/defending that brings us back to the point of “tension” and it starts all over again? This is just something that I’m noticing in my life and I wonder if you see it that way too.
Joe
July 2nd, 2010 at 7:20 am
Yeah, well, I guess if what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger, we need adversity to keep our edge. When you’re coasting, you’re comfortable, and when you’re comfortable, you’re not alert, and that’s when a lioness gets the drop on you and drags your carcass back for the rest of the pride to gnaw on… booyaka…
July 4th, 2010 at 6:32 pm
Tenacity is brought about by hunger. This hunger is fed by fear. And fear comes from the unknown.
-I have no problem with keeping on the edge as I practically live in a jungle while trying to build something “relevant”.
Steve Jobs echoes this with the unforgettable:
Stay hungry. Stay foolish
July 4th, 2010 at 11:40 pm
You obviously don’t have children. But then, if you did, you would have tension.
July 5th, 2010 at 3:42 pm
Julien,
Apologies for my delay in replying. I assumed I’d be getting an email notifying me of comments or something. Lazy, much? ;)
To answer your question about my question, here are my thoughts:
1-Those things that “feel right” to us may not always be the right things.
2-Change for change’s sake can be a huge waste of time and a missed opportunity for reflection/introspection.
3-Your “gut” can tell you a lot about the choices you’re making.
4-Just because you CAN make a change or do something different doesn’t mean you should.
5-None of the preceding points matter at all if you lack self awareness and the ability to sit still long enough to reflect and look back on past actions in relation to those “feelings” and “gut” instincts.
So, what’s that look like in my life? As a “Don’t Fence Me In” kinda gal (I’m old and am referencing a Roy Rogers song), I spent a good portion my life seeking and instigating change when it would have served me better to suck it up and stay put.
This might have something to do with having a really fast/quirky brain that leads me to believe there is always something better out there or something else to discover or it may be that I read one too many romance novels in my youth, but what I realize now, especially when looking back (reflection/introspection part) is that in my need to move and change and do all things “new”, I missed some key steps along the way that would have gotten me closer to where I wanted to be than I am now.
Some of those had to do with learning how to deal with stupid people rather than just wash my hands of them and some had to do with accepting that there will always be an imbalance and abuse of power/authority over some aspect of my life that I won’t be able to control.
Rather than take my toys and go home, I am learning that behind most things are just other human beings and that most of the issues I have with them, are really opportunities for me to deal with my own stuff.
Once that is done, I’m better able to make a good next step, rather than a leap forward just for the sake of momentum.
Mostly though, what I’ve learned is that there is great wealth to be found in being stuck and that if you can deal with the absolute discomfort of sitting through it, you can learn more about yourself and what you don’t want, than you ever could had you just blithely moved on.
Make sense?