Comments on: Scars

By: Doug Taylor

Doug Taylor — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 19:29:29 +0000

“This is the true joy in life! Being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one.Being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap. Being a force of Nature,instead of a feverish,selfish,little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”

– George Bernard Shaw

By: Alyssa

Alyssa — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 21:53:37 +0000

This piece of writing just brought a lot of light to a current issue I am dealing with. I want to thank you for sharing this, although it may not be current, this will always be an issue worth writing about. My disabilities are causing me not to “get dirty” temporarily but the internal issues for staying put- are driving me crazy. Sometimes you need to rest from incidents in order to create new scars for the future..

By: Dan

Dan — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 18:59:07 +0000

You = Smart.

I really like this. It truly is as simple as wanting to stay clean vs. being willing to get dirty. That is as straightforward a mantra as one could have.

Get dirty.

By: Zee

Zee — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 13:45:40 +0000

Thank you for this wonderful eye opener post mr. Julien. I’m turning 24 next month and i barely have a scar in my hand. i don’t even have a scar at all. most of the time i’m just to afraid to do something. and my head is filled with “what ifs”.
It’s gonna be a bumpy ride but like you said.. you should do it anyway. In fact, you need to. You need scars. You need stories.

You need to have lived.

Sincerely your new reader from the other part of the world,
ZEE.

By: Jeff Goins

Jeff Goins — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 19:44:12 +0000

Amen!

By: seanrox

seanrox — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 19:58:56 +0000

This transition important. Thanks for sharing, Julien.

By: Howard Stein

Howard Stein — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 03:52:58 +0000

I’m scratched up. Blind before I could draw. Lost a younger brother when I was eighteen. Lost my father to grief four years later. More recently, am about to make fourth house move in eighteen months. This house I am in was the kindness of a 35 year friendship with a college buddy who turned venomous as soon as we moved in. Demanding rent demanding housework and ensuring the friendship broke to pieces, yes, scars run right through me and in front of me this week this very week I am facing being out on the street with my wife and our dogs, not knowing if we will pass the tests of a new apartment management as winter begins. What is interesting is family and friends have taken to the hills, so the lesson for some is that you do it alone, face the fear down and move your feet, and put on some great music and dance. The hell with it. Let others think their lives will matter for an eternity. I am much more risk friendly. I hope everyone is lucky and fit. That’s what I wish you all.

By: Laura

Laura — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 20:27:07 +0000

Good post. I was talking to a friend on the phone about a prominent facial scar that was the result of my last relationship. It’s been almost a year since since I acquired it and I look at it every day in the mirror and am reminded of the love I once had the mistakes I made. He reminded me that scars tell us a story about what we have been through, and what we have overcome. It’s all about how we perceive them that makes them either a constant reminder of our mistakes or a reminder of of how we should not make those same mistakes again. I like the last paragraph of this post.

“Look– you’re going to get hurt. And sometimes, you’ll see it coming. But you should do it anyway. In fact, you need to. You need scars. You need stories.”

I feel that this rings so true with me. As I stare in the mirror at this jagged red scar, I know that I saw it coming, and I continued in the relationship anyway. If I had the opportunity to do it all over again. I would change nothing. Somehow, this experience will help me overcome something else in life. This scar will not let me forget the lesson I learned.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 18:51:18 +0000

This is probably one of the best articles I have read in a long time. I was directed to this by reading today’s in over your head email. I can’t tell you how meaningful this is in my life right now. Where success was second nature and never a bump in the road and all of a sudden a HUGE mountain seemed to fall on top of me… million to zilch … I sometimes wonder how I get through the next day with the mountains that are still on top of me, and the things that will still scar me in the very near or not so near future. Such a long story and so many scars in such a short period of time .. and just 30… but I continue to learn. Today even I said “for as bad as my whole experience was.. I would not have the confidence to…. without ‘being there’ and ‘doing that’…

I could write for hours on what this subject means and how its just not exactly easy to see that its ok.. that you are better for it… and that the scars will help develop your strength. If you do not have the clarity to see that, to understand it and to utilize it, it will just be a big pile of ugliness that you will never get passed.

PS: You are RIGHT – you have to make your own mistakes and it is entirely up to YOU to learn from them. If you don’t, you will continue to make them.

By: John Haydon

John Haydon — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 13:02:37 +0000

Ross suggests a very interesting point: It’s not just having scars – it’s our perception of those scars.

While it’s true that scars can tell us “You can endure”, they can also tell us “I’m damaged because of so and so…”

The observer affects the outcome.

By: Dave Sohnchen

Dave Sohnchen — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 20:10:22 +0000

Really like this. I’ve been resonating with a lot of your posts lately because I’m in a frustrating space. I think too often when we hit low points we look for (and long for) the easy way out; the path of least resistance. This is a good reminder that said path is probably not the best one. I ponder/wrote about some of these thoughts myself last night. http://www.davesohnchen.com/derailed/

This post is reassurance that I’m on the right track.

By: Julien

Julien — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 19:01:02 +0000

@Ross — You’re damn right.

By: Ross Hudgens

Ross Hudgens — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 17:32:34 +0000

Like this a lot. Instead of being pissed about my scars/callusses, posts like these will help me justify them as counterpoints of a life that was well-lived.

By: Sel Gossett

Sel Gossett — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 03:04:54 +0000

I had a few things removed off my back, my knee and my upper arm by a doc who usually does cosmetic surgery. He just put some butterfly bandages on them. I asked how I should care for them. He started by saying “If you are worried about scars…” and I interrupted him. “No! I could care less; I’m a 54 year old man. I want to know if I should put antibiotic on them, etc.”
“No,” he replied, “Just let them be and watch for any signs of infection.”
“great!” I replied, “If anybody asks about them I can just make shit up about how I got them!”
His nurse laughed but he seemed less than pleased.
I think she got it.
His usual surface practice for skin perfection blinded him to any depth regarding what had just happened.
I have better scars but they aren’t visible.

By: Catherine Cook

Catherine Cook — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 00:29:26 +0000

I LOVE this concept.
Great attitude.
I’m eager to read more.

By: kat

kat — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 12:12:53 +0000

i’m going to go fuck something up today
on purpose
because i don’t know if it will help
so let me find out

i have old scars
but really
nothing new of late
that makes me more afraid of them
so i have been avoiding it
making myself go in a direction i’m looking at but not moving towards
i’ve been staying safe
i should be smashing into something

here we go

By: Michelle

Michelle — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 19:23:33 +0000

Wow, great thought for the day. I also came to this via O’Reilly. Your sentiments are exactly what I’ve been feeling as I look to a milestone birthday in a few weeks. thanks!

By: Mike

Mike — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 17:30:53 +0000

“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – beer in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming “WOO HOO, What a Ride!”

By: Christa Avampato

Christa Avampato — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 17:17:30 +0000

Hi Julien,
I got to this blog post today via a tweet from Tim O’Reilly. What a power post and incredible sentiment. Thank you – I needed to hear this today. Signed up for your newsletter and subscribed to this blog. Look forward to reading more!

By: Nilofer Merchant

Nilofer Merchant — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 17:12:17 +0000

You know how people get strong? By getting back up … by pushing against the tough thing. Just like physical work outs, our success muscles need to be moved in small and big ways to get shaped and handle more challenge and recover and so on. The mark of someone i want to work with isn’t how high they’ve gone but how many times they’ve gotten back up because they know how to get stronger, better over time.