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Stop being a fucking pussy

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Ok, you want to be successful. You think you’re trying your hardest. Dammit you are pretty sure you’re gunning for it, really hard!

But here is the truth: You’re not.

In every industry, there is an edge. In your business or personal life, it doesn’t matter– somewhere, there is a cliff. Most people don’t want to get to close to it, because they’re afraid they’ll fall off.

Thing is, the edge is where all the cool stuff happens. I know you don’t want to make a decision that is irrevocable and wrong– a decision from which you might never recover– that’s natural. But guess what?

You are actually in the middle of an open field, inside your house, clutching your purse, crying like a little girl while looking at an edge you see on television.

In other words? You are nowhere near the goddamn edge.

It’s time you stopped being a fucking pussy.

You want a better blog, a more profitable business, a happier marriage, or a better life? You want to meet a girl, or travel to Asia, or lose weight, or meet an Asian girl who’ll help you lose weight, or something else? Great! So does everyone.

Just to be clear: for other people, it is entirely clear that you haven’t fully committed. If you had, you would be closer. Why?

You would do the exercises.

You’d put in the hours.

You’d take people’s advice (especially if it made you uncomfortable!).

You’d learn to talk to people.

You would find a system.

None of these things require money! All they require is work and understanding yourself. It’s not that hard!

Look, your lack of progress pretty much stems from things you’re avoiding because a) you are unsure of how they’re done, or b) you’re unconsciously (or consciously!) unwilling to do them. In other words, you are a fucking pussy.

You are either paralyzed by the fact that you don’t know how to get to your goal (hint: ask someone who does or fucking Google it!), or you’re afraid of doing it (hint: you clearly don’t want it bad enough). It’s actually that easy.

It’s time you looked your delaying tactics in the damn face.

What, exactly, are you afraid of?

Is it getting ridiculed or judged?

Will people around you stop loving you?

Are you afraid of looking stupid, or going broke?

Do you think you would offend people?

Let me tell you about offending people.

Today, my designer Justin emailed me a draft of a pop-over thing we’ve been talking about. It is crazy offensive. Would you like to see just how offensive it is? Click on the images below.

(The second image is what happens when you get rid of the first one. Yes, it actually says “Annoying Subscription Pop-Over” on it. Hehe.)

Did it make you laugh? It definitely made me laugh. You might like it, or hate it, but I’ll tell you one thing: it will work and it is not for pussies.

(Also, it vanishes after that and is for first-time visitors. Chill out.) ;)

The bottom line

Look people, use your common sense. Millions of us all over the world are having the same problems as you. All of us have the same blocks– you, me, everyone. Those of us that get through our anxieties and just do the things we need to do, we are the ones will make it. The others won’t.

You might be saying, “No Julien, I’m just procrastinating. It’s in my nature. I’m just bad at being organized.” I call bullshit.

Examine your intentions. There is a real something holding you back– I guarantee it. Unless what you really want to do is sit around playing Nintendo DS all day, there is something else there.

Look, the weekend is coming up. I’m going to give you a chance. All you have to do is not be a pussy for a whole weekend– very easy, ok? And if you feel anxious about absolutely anything, do the following:

Ask yourself out loud: What am I afraid of?

I guarantee that when you do this, when you say it out loud and listen to the answer, your answer will sound stupid. Because most of our issues are pretty stupid.

Then, after you do that, you will get down to business. You will do what you have to do, because it will be clear what you’re avoiding. And after a weekend of that, you will come back here and you will tell me what happened, ok? I’m counting on you.

Look, some of you are probably offended by this post. That’s fine. For those of you in that camp, I would like to inform you of two things:

  1. You’re probably a fucking pussy (heh); and
  2. I made a version for you and your pussy Twitter friends. See below.

Stop Being Such a Darned Wuss

The rest of you, get back to fucking work.

Hey, you know what else? I just realized something. People have been asking me forever what this blog is about, and I’ve never had an answer. I think I just found one.

If you want to find out more about how to actually do what you have to do and own it, then subscribe. Good stuff will happen.

Here, I’ll put a subscription box right here. Type in your email address and press enter. And if you could tweet this out too, I would really appreciate it. People really need to hear it. Thanks.

* Filed by Julien at 8:55 am under direction, rant


Hi, I’m Julien Smith. I'm the founder and CEO of Breather.

Check out more of my blog, my free book or add me on twitter. Also, we're hiring. Check that out.

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149 Responses to “Stop being a fucking pussy”

  1. Mike Marinelli Says:

    You really nailed it with this post. I’ve been listening to David Maister lately and he claims that we are WAY too forgiving of ourselves and it’s creating a huge gap between knowing and doing. I couldn’t agree more about the fact there is SOMETHING holding us back-Seth Godin suggests that it’s this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amygdala. Whatever it is, now that we are aware that it is there, it is our responsibility to figure it out. Alright, got to go, I have tons of work to do this weekend!

    • Julien Says:

      Mike, I actually love David Maister. I consider him a colleague and friend along with Charlie Green (both are co-authors of The Trusted Advisor).

      Fear is the missing link. Everything opens up once it’s clear, and asking yourself about it out loud almost… disarms it.

      If you haven’t read it yet, check out Strategy and the Fat Smoker- David’s most recent book. Good stuff. Integrity, man.

  2. Clarence Says:

    Powerful. Even moreso since your writing voice in my head sounds a lot like Denis Leary.

  3. Antonio Tedesco Says:

    How do you really feel? I get the sense you’re holding back.

    The fear of failing holds people back from achieving their true potential. That’s too bad because it’s easy to get up on the horse and try again.

    BTW, I was picturing R. Lee Ermey’s voice (Full Metal Jacket). The Geico commercial is great.

  4. IamDavid Says:

    That subscription form is not offensive. Here is over the edge as you put it: Threaten to take down your readers internet like the US and Wikileaks if they don’t subscribe…now that is offensive!

  5. Josh Muirhead Says:

    First, love the fact that you made a Twitter aka, Kid Friendly version.

    Second, I agree with you to a points

    Third, I’ve personally just finished reading the book Switch by the Heath Brothers, and combining their deeper methods of “switching our minds” and your “stop being a fucking pussy” has great potential for “Game Changer” that’s right, I’m copying Gary V…Another non pussy

    Excellent post, already a subscriber, so I didn’t have to suffer the offensive subscription form.

    Stay Connected,

    Josh

  6. blork Says:

    Seriously? If you implement that popover thing I will not come back.

    “First time visitors” is a fallacy. I use many different browsers on many different machines, and I regularly clear cookies, so I would see that shit almost every time I came here.

    And for the record, it would not “offend” me, it would ANNOY me. There is a huge chasm of difference between those two things. Wikileaks offends. Celine Dion annoys. In which camp do you want to plant your flag?

    Your popups would annoy me in both the immediate short term as well as the long term. Long term because it would wave a big fucking flag that says “I AM A DOUCHEBAG AND I DON’T CARE IF I ANNOY MY READERS.” It would also signal tacit approval for anyone to engage in highly annoying and douchebaggy practices on the web, and I cannot under any circumstances condone that.

    So yeah, don’t be a fucking pussy, but that shouldn’t be interpreted as BE A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG.

    Seriously!

    • Balla Ballin Says:

      Aw… Come on, man…

      • David Says:

        Haha — your comment was more annoying than that pop-up ever would be. Answer: don’t come back. Simple. Solved.

        • Evan Z Says:

          “Throw him off the island.”

          Spoken like a true douchebag.

          Notice that nowhere does it say that being hard on yourself requires you to be hard on others. Being a man doesn’t imply losing compassion and understanding, in fact that’s why being a man is actually hard. Telling people to just fuck off, that would be the lazy, cowardly solution.

        • Caroline Says:

          Hahah exactly David.. that made me laugh. Why do people find the need to rant like that.. its one thing having an offensive pop up, but a whole different ball game being an offensive “….”

          My sentiments exactly! See ya! Wouldn’t like to be ya!

  7. Jennyfarout Says:

    YES!!! I am so guilty of this … sitiing about crying my eyes out cos i have to go to a job i hate, be nice to people and play the game and it’s bringing me down boo hoo.

    Well fuck that.

    I’m an adult, I’m fully capable and I’m going on ahead. Not everyone will like it. Tough shit, I never promised to please the world, just the people I care about.

    Thank you for a post that has firmly inserted the much needed boot up my arse.

  8. Rup Says:

    Great Article…and very true.
    There is no short cut to bigger balls! You just need to get over the fear and act in spite of it…

    P.S. You should get a facebook share icon on your blog…I’d love a way to easily share this article with my friends…

    Rup

    • Julien Says:

      Rup, dude man, there is a Facebook share button on here. It’s at the top.

      • Elizabeth Says:

        Julien, dude man, a Facebook “like” button isn’t the same as a Facebook “share” button. It works, just not the same way and is easily overlooked that I “like” sometime rather than I posted something on my wall to share.

  9. Alex Says:

    Well, I notice that there is a recent trend regarding internet business nowadays. Let me call it the “passion” driven Gary Vaynerchuk approach of always trying harder, doing every damn thing to “succeed” as quickly as possible, more often than not pitching mostly useless stuff/information products to the innocent public. I think that’s a rather sad sight.

    While this article might be helpful to some, I, however, prefer a more laid-back approach. Not getting ahead of oneself and first contemplating what actually provides real value to people. Not just getting off one’s arse and “doing shit”, literally.

    And for the record, yeah, I am living in Asia at the moment and have an Asian girlfriend “helping me to loose weight”.

    Cheers!

    • Julien Says:

      Alex, I agree with your statement about providing real value. For the most part, I abhor info products.

      Good luck with your Asian girlfriend and losing weight! :)

  10. Corey Koehler Says:

    You are right. I am a pussy!

  11. Jody Bailey Says:

    Fantastic post!

    This goes beyond big ideas, this is about never saying no to simple things that lead to profound results. This summer I took it upon myself to say “yes”. What has transpired since has blown my mind.

    Your post speaks volumes about what was occurring in my head when I thought I was procrastinating…turns out I was just being a pussy.

    Thanks for the clarification.

    • Julien Says:

      Jody! Thank you for the comment. I’m also a big fan of just saying yes to opportunity. You never know what the outcome will be unless you go– I don’t understand why most people don’t do it.

      Maybe it just seems obvious to us from the inside.

  12. Collette Says:

    Julien,

    right now I hate you so much, and love you so much.

    you know that photo you posted of the WWII soldiers running on to the beach with the words “harden the fuck up” written on it? it hit me in the face. and so did this post. sheesh, we are such pussies!

    I promise to stop being such a pussy. I’m letting an amazing career opportunity turn into a mediocre one right now because it’s hard and I don’t want to put in the hours right now and so I’m floating along but not really doing the amazing things I could be doing because it’s hard on the brain and ugh, this is hard! whine, whine, bitch, moan.

    so. I hate you and love you because you are right and you’re always right and you are going to make me face my fears — dick.

    and thank you. xox

  13. Joseph Ratliff Says:

    I won’t then! :)

    Epic post. Whenever I wonder if I’m living up to my full potential, I’ll have this warm, fuzzy post to remind me that I haven’t yet.

    Love it.

  14. Sean Feretycki Says:

    This is advice to live by, and one of the best ways I’ve heard it articulated. No veil, no fancy metaphors, no sugar coating. If you want it, go get it, and ditch the bullshit.

  15. Meg Says:

    When I was a little girl, I made little boys cry, without even putting down my purse. :)

  16. Daryl Says:

    Typical generalization. Totally ignore any particular difficulties a person has, and disregard any notion of sufferring, and sweep anything and everything under the candy-ass rug of “Try Harder.”

    As though hard work always pays off, and that people who have not succeeded are always pussies.

    Go find a homeless veteran who can’t find a job no matter what he does and call him a “pussy” for not finding you little metaphorical edge. I hope he’d punch you.

    • Julien Says:

      Hi Daryl, thank you for having the balls to speak up!

      There are exceptional situations, of course, but most of the readers here are not in them. They are comfortable and they are conflict-avoidant. They are not homeless, nor do they have (say) behavioural problems to address. They are just fucking pussies.

      Thank you for the opportunity for this lovely chat.

    • douglas fairchild Says:

      thank you daryl…I am a vetran…I am not homeless, yet at least…and I would punch someone if they didn’t show respect after calling me a pussy…the important thing to remember is that even if this helps a few people. this could be absolutely devastating to someone really struggling with this. and I read some of the thank you posts and come on…the way they are talking there is no way they’ve been in a severe state of mind…fucking ease up people.

  17. ange r. Says:

    Exactly what I needed to read. It fits well with a conversation I had yesterday with my Exec. Dir. about an issue I’ve been having lately. To the edge I go. Thank you.

  18. Bruce Says:

    fucking yeas… get to fucking work everyone… Here it is 3fuckign pm, and I am just sitting down to my computer to do fucking work (sure I did go to the pool), but come the fuck on…. fucking yes.. I have to work more– work harder …. keep me moving….

    the lasiest SEO out there.

  19. Eric Jean Says:

    BOOM!! stop being a pussy indeed!!

    Love this line the best: “You’d take people’s advice (especially if it made you uncomfortable!).”

    That is really one of the best indicators of advice’s quality. Humility is a difficult attribute to cultivate but invaluable.

  20. chris Says:

    News flash. It’s okay to be mediocre. Pretty much everybody is but thinks they are something more.

  21. Fitarella Says:

    HELL-TO-THE-MOTHA-FUCKING-YES!!!

  22. Chris Says:

    Is this part of a bigger series?
    Stop being a fucking….
    [dumbass] [ahole] [door knob] [robot] [...?]

  23. Amy Says:

    So weird, the other day I was telling my pussy not to be such a Julien.

  24. Whitney Says:

    Catching yourself succumbing to fear is something I think we all have to work at. Here’s the test- if it comes with a “Yes, but” it’s an excuse or rationalization. It’s also about prioritization- and the bottom line is that if something is really important to you, you’ll let nothing get in the way of success (however you measure it.) Things take time, things take effort, but if you really want to make it happen, it’s probably in your power to make it happen.

    What also gets people into trouble is taking too many options off the table, or not even considering others.

    When are we looking at problems or inconveniences as actual constraints (like gravity) and just failing to see what they are- hurdles we need to cross to get to the goal?

  25. Duff Says:

    This year I’ve worked out almost every day. My strength and energy levels are the greatest I’ve ever had in my life, and I’m largely pain-free.

    In the past, I took your approach—aggressive self-violence and negative self-talk as my motivation. It didn’t work, just made me push myself WAAAAAY too hard, get sore or injured, and dread my “killer” workouts.

    Now I work out sensibly, with lots of self-care but also pushing the limits of my potential…but slowly and consistently, with a healthy dose of listening too.

    Yes, many people need to light a fire under their asses and get started on the projects or goals they have for themselves. No, most people don’t need more inner conflict or self-aggression—they’ve got quite enough already and that too is preventing them from achieving their goals.

    And if you put that douchebag popup on your site, well, you’ll get what you deserve.

  26. Kneale Mann Says:

    I was going to say “great post” or “thanks, I needed that” but that would be ass kissing and a waste of both our time. Instead, I shall get off my arse. C’ya!

  27. Steve Roy Says:

    Dude,
    It’s good to hear some raw emotion. Too many sites are too afraid of offending people with language. Well, it works and gets the point across, period!

  28. Thomas Says:

    Nice post, cut’s to the chase, great. Has anyone ever tried to say this to a colleague, client, family member, friend? You get the GF, yourself response, then you lose a colleague’s partnership, the clients business, a family member’s love, and a friends trust. Your life becomes lonely and you become a target. Later in life these people cross your path again, maybe 1 or 2, usually friends and family, they’re cordial, different in some way, if they’ve actually thought about anything that you had the balls to say back then, and life goes on. I guess the point is that we can all read this stuff and probably, somewhere inside, identify with some of it. Like a dear friend once said on day 1, of many day’s one on the job, Tom, everyone is going to give you advice, tell you how to do this, and that, claim they know everything and few will ever be there when you really need them. Listen to them all, take what you can, and then do it your way. Socrates know this shit 4 thousand years ago when he said, do one’s own work, mind one’s own business..

  29. Howard Stein Says:

    Hey Julien, I wonder what you sound like when you mean it. Great stand up stand strong get moving blog. Spot on the edge that just might crumble as darkness falls down. May be your best post yet. For me, anyway.
    Damn, you are getting good, Julien! You are the reminder man.

  30. phil Says:

    Your points are well made, but the attention you are getting is by being offensive (and ridiculing others). This will bring you short term success, but politics tends to power the bigger world.

    Good luck in your study group.

  31. AnnMaria Says:

    Ha ha ha. You are amazing. I was the world judo champion in my wayward youth.

    I had discussions with many coaches about what keeps people from winning the Olympic. One mentioned someone who wanted to train in one place but the national governing body for his sport told him he “had to train in Colorado”. I asked her:

    He had to? Do they have him tied down to a bed in Colorado somewhere? Let me know, I’ll call 911. Are there armed guards standing outside his door who will shoot him if he goes somewhere else to train? …

  32. Tyler Hurst Says:

    I’m afraid of not being able to make any money and I’ve pissed off anyone that’s hiring where I live.

    I’m afraid of being poor, but that doesn’t fucking stop me.

  33. Merlene Says:

    I’ve just sent a link to this to a couple of people close to me who are struggling – very unhappy (one with her marriage, the other with his current job) – people I’ve tried to help with their paralysis over fears of the unknown.

    Three years ago I pulled the plug on my very unhappy life. I didn’t have much of a game plan beyond get out of that comfort zone that’s holding me back. It was uncomfortable. There were times when I thought I should turn tail and run back to the safety of what I knew.

    A funny thing happened though. Once I made the changes (very scary changes) I noticed something… I was happy. I wasn’t negative. The glass was suddenly not only half full but it was a lovely crystal glass. I looked forward to every day. Still do.

  34. James Altucher Says:

    I think this is great advice, “find your fear”, and remove it. Find your edge, etc.

    I do think most people don’t have the practical tools in place to know what next steps to take. They can acknowledge they are afraid, but what next? How can they generate the ideas to improve their current situation, how can they fight the fear they’ve had since they were born. They can’t google that. It starts with a post like this, and a genuine desire. But then…what next?

  35. Ryan McCormack Says:

    Channeling a little Tyler Durden. I like it.

    Totally agreed on the importance of not being a pussy. One point: Just because you do your best and don’t act like a pussy doesn’t mean you’ll always succeed. It does mean, however, that you’ll know you did everything you could, at which point you can move on with your non-pussy head held high.

    Keep up the great stuff.

  36. Joe Sorge Says:

    nicely done sir! great timing personally as well. thank you.

  37. K00kyKelly Says:

    While I agree with the core of this message (Don’t be a fucking coward) your version for the “sensitive” types pisses me off. Normally I wouldn’t point shit like this out, but you went out of your way to create a non-offensive version and failed big time. Why? Every word and example used to illustrate weakness and cowardice is female. Wuss is originates from wimp and puss (cat, girl/woman) and is an insult used for little boys acting like stereotypical girly girls. You substituted pussy for a word with a common origin. FAIL This also: “clutching your purse, crying like a little girl” Was that also necessary? Hugging yourself, crying like a child wasn’t good enough? I don’t appreciate having my entire gender automatically associated with weakness. That is offensive. The swearing, meh.

    • Julien Says:

      Hey Kelly, thanks for the comment.

      You’re actually totally right about that, I did use those words, and I’m pretty conscious about using them in person.

      In this case, however, I decided that I don’t mind offending that 1-5% in order to have more impact on the 95-99%.

      If you look at the rest of my posts, I think you’ll see that I normally don’t have that tone. You should look at this post, actually:

      http://inoveryourhead.net/why-women-will-take-over-the-world/

      Cheers.

  38. Rajesh Setty Says:

    Loved the blog post Julien.

    I wrote about the edges here:

    http://www.rajeshsetty.com/2009/08/04/ways-to-distinguish-yourself-203-focus-on-the-edges/

    But I like your treatment far better than mine as your writing about the edges is also on the edge :)

    One thing is to say it and the other thing is to say it and live it both at the same time. I did that first one but you showed how to do it better.

    Thank you.

    Best,
    Rajesh

  39. Sarah Wallace Says:

    First, let me say I 100% agree with this post.

    But, I think in life there are doers and there are those who don’t. That’s just the nature of things.

    My feeling is that those who don’t will read this post, be inspired for a few minutes, then go back to status quo.

    And, I think those who are doers should just keep on keepin on.

    SW

  40. Mitch Joel - Twist Image Says:

    That PDF of the saying is all nice and fine, but you’re limiting the opportunity to really market this. I’d like to see this on t-shirts, wallets, coffee mugs, welcome mats, condoms, you name it.

    OK, maybe the condoms idea is a little much considering the message.

  41. Darleen Says:

    Excellent! Thanks.

  42. Didier Says:

    Nothing just happens by luck. So I did not think I was looking for being shaken nor boosted today.

    Nevertheless, I’ve followed links on twitter to end-up on your blog post. So now, faster than refuelling rechargeable batteries, I’m being propelled to my next future.

    Too many times, we just don’t get to the point. Too many times. we just don’t express clearly that point. You did both, with your own words. Thanks.

  43. Micheline Bourque Says:

    Put in more work, more hours, create a system, talk to more people. Gonna double the dose. Gonna put that on my billboard.

  44. Todd Lucier Says:

    Systems that rely on annoying popovers are for pussys. If I really wantex advice on building business on the web I’d be looking at those who employ systems to emulate, imagine if every so-called social media genius resorted to such tactics. Yeah, it would be a pretty terrible experience.

    A system that works . . . Let’s define that. Using offensive language or not.

  45. Jason Baker Says:

    You’re awesome Julien! Fucking love this post. It made me laugh right from the first sentence. It’s for this reason alone that I want you to speak to more corporate companies in BC. Marketers and business professionals need to hear this shit, no matter how much they might be offended. And if they are… just give them “review my talk” sheets that say “Fuck Off and stop being a pussy!” – lol

    Lot’s of what you said in here are things that I’ve been battling with as well and I am so glad that you’re on that edge to call us all on it.

  46. Andrew Says:

    Let’s look at your one example of not being a “pussy.” If the “Annoying Subscription Pop-Over” is your idea of what will “work,” I’ll stick with being a pussy. That’s exactly the sort of assholitude that is so repellent among marketing hustlers of schools old and new.

    I hope it’s possible to be hard-working, effective, and goal-oriented without being an obnoxious piece of shit. But here I am, wasting time writing a response to your sexist link-bait, so maybe you’re right after all.

  47. Maya paveza Says:

    preach it brother Julien!
    I love you even more after this post. People hate confronting their personal truths. They need to get over it and grow up. No one gets out alive and if you worry about what others think you are a conformist puppet. Live large, live out loud and have no regrets.
    People spend too much time trying to convince themselves they aren’t pussies, guess what – everyone else see’s right through it!

    Thanks Julien, and have you seen my #ownit hash tag?

  48. Andre McKay Says:

    WOW, I love the way you put this, so if i could ask one question considering i just began twittering a couple days ago and just baught Trust Agents last week im curious to know what avenues or books, sites i should take look into so that i can start better understanding this social networking, media, blogging, and how people are actually making a living.
    Happy Holidays people stay awesome

  49. Natalie Says:

    Oh man. My sentiments exactly. Stop being a fucking pussy. I love it. Will be back on Monday, dude. Stop being such a darned Wuss is genius.

  50. brian Says:

    Fortune favors the bold indeed. Great right between the eyes post!

  51. John Armstrong-Millar Says:

    Yup
    “Feel the fear..and do it anyway”

    In life you always hear people saying “i wish I had done that at the time”

    Try it.. fail or succeed… you are never going to know if you don’t try..

  52. Thijs Deschepper Says:

    Great post!

    I just put this as my homepage.
    Will remind me not to be such a fucking pussy.

    Thanks :)

  53. John Says:

    Great Post – I love it. Especially the ‘say it out loud part’.

  54. Robert Monteux Says:

    I love it! The new word is now

    SBAFP

    (pronounced like it looks)
    and yes, Joel, it would look great on a T shirt

  55. misskitty_79 Says:

    I agree w/ the sentiment behind this, but I’ve gotta tell you Julien, your terminology offends me.
    Equating fear w/ “crying like a girl” & being a “pussy”, two incredibly misogynistic turns of phrase is really rather inappropriate, no?
    I mean, there has *got* to be a better way than “Stop Being Such a Darned Wuss” to bluntly & effectively say the same w/out slandering the feminine gender!

  56. John McLachlan Says:

    I commented way up the page, but have thought about this post over the weekend and am back.

    I’m curious to hear what you find out about traffic Julien, but I realized that though I have no problem with the words “fucking” or “pussy” in a title (though I’m gay and don’t generally put those words together – ha ha), it struck me that shocking titles for shocking sense may not be so pure an approach except that it gathers attention.

    Your core concept in the post is fantastic but the title strikes me now as possibly a cheap ploy. It’s not really you (or who I think you are). I totally get that you often use “fuck” in your conversations and posts and have no problem with that AT ALL. But somehow, the title feels a little “less than Julien” to me.

    Sorry, I’m just giving my gut feelings. What did you mother say? :-)

  57. Loren Says:

    Now if you could just embed this message in some baroque music and pump it into the halls of congress you will have something. On second thought start at the schools… It may be too late for government.

  58. Turling Says:

    Did you have a camera following me this morning as I was getting ready for work.

    Ok, I vow to not be a fucking pussy this weekend.

  59. Elizabeth - Letters from a Small State Says:

    HEY! I am SUCH a pussy. Goddamn. This is so right.

  60. Jay Baer Says:

    It’s a paradox. We delude ourselves into thinking that tools and technology make it easier than ever to cover ground and accomplish our goals. Yet, the distractions, red herrings, diffuse attention, and competitive pressures wrought by tools and technology actually make it much harder to be a success.

    Ultimately, Gary Vaynerchuk got it right. “You want to be a success?” he said. “Stop spending time watching LOST.”

    Everything new is old again. Just like your grandfather told you, there’s NO replacement for gumption and hard work. And all the tech in the world won’t change that. Ever.

  61. Sally Sisson Says:

    Okay, you got me to read the whole post. And all of the comments. And sign up for a subscription. Was going to think up a witty comment of my own, but think i need to get back to work.

    Twitter uptick well deserved!

  62. Oswald Chalky Says:

    People who tell other people not to be fucking pussies should probably avoid using ;) to end a sentence. [e.g. "Also, it vanishes after that and is for first-time visitors. Chill out. ;)"]

    I’m afraid your credibility on the subject of not being a fucking pussy really took a shot to the balls right around the time that you typed in a fucking winking smiley face to let everyone know that you were just teasing and didn’t want to hurt their fucking feelings. You know what that makes you, right?

    The only thing worse than a fucking pussy is a hypocritical pussy. Go practice and try again.

  63. Adrian Says:

    this made me laugh pretty damn hard. I love people who don’t beat around the bush and don’t pretty things up. Because there is tons of other people who say the same thing you just wrote about but with pretty words. You, however, pretty much just hammered out what those people were thinking while they were talking pretty. And I find that hilarious!

    so good work, and I suppose I should be getting back to my work as well haha

    later

  64. Adrian Says:

    oh and OSWALD, if you didn’t see any humor in this post at all and have to act all constipated about it, then I suggest you buy yourself a bucket of happy pills this weekend so you force a smile on that sad face of yours for once. ;) ;)

  65. Jelena Says:

    Hi,
    I did enjoy it.
    Manny time in our life we ARE a pussy and we fall down.It metter do you get up,and are you stronger and even just for a little smarter than before.
    You said:
    “Just to be clear: for other people, it is entirely clear that you haven’t fully committed. If you had, you would be closer. Why?
    You would do the exercises.

    You’d put in the hours.

    You’d take people’s advice (especially if it made you uncomfortable!).

    You’d learn to talk to people.

    You would find a system.

    None of these things require money! All they require is work and understanding yourself. It’s not that hard!”

    First of all,you need to be honest in the front of YOURE SELF !

    Thx for nice time-reading your blog
    P.S. i agree with misskitty,because: BIG BOY’S DONT CRY?…please, one funny nice comment:)

  66. Sharel Says:

    Hi Julian,

    This is a very aggressive and powerful post… writing like this and reading this was hard, You practically “yell” at us in a way that come from the heart… my resistance went up and down as I read it, and its very powerful.

    as first step I registered to the newsletter, tweeted it and been thinking about what you say…

    as a person who heard trust agent many times I really love your direct approach, you remind me of a good friend that does it to me all the time.

    I think its OK to cry, emotion is a very powerful tool that serve you in life much more then any other skill, emotion connects you to your inner-self and force you to listen…

    We are now working on a startup, we made many sacrifices and feel the “fear” every day… i take your post to a place of motivation and keep our eyes on the goal, which is to BUILD and SHIP.

    If thats OK, I will love to keep you posed :)

    Thanks,
    Sharel

  67. Stu Says:

    Great post man! This is so true. I’m so fucking tired of the people who bitch every day about their jobs when they should STFU and quit, or just stop sucking at their job.

    The popup is funny, and I like how shitbags freak out over it. It’s a great example of not sugarcoating the shitsteak you’re selling. Keep it real man.

    It’s not okay to cry. Fuck any silly twat that thinks that, because its dumb. Crying is a social sign indicating you need help, and if it’s about something worthy then maybe it’s okay. When you are crying about “OMG FML work is too hard” then crying is NOT okay.

    Great post. You have gained a subscriber.

  68. Jerry Says:

    An effective piece of writing for your target audience. The language, style, and tone will alienate others. Whatever. “Be bold” advice has been around since time immemorial and is still good.

    Boldness and effort are generally necessary for success, although seldom sufficient. Among other things, one also needs the wit to separate what is necessary from what is not and then to focus on doing all that is necessary.

    The popup technique might even work for a while. I would just be annoyed and leave the site. If that works for you, fine.

  69. Bill Szczytko Says:

    Freakin awesome post. I love that you went for it with the title too. Good stuff.

  70. Jeff Says:

    Love it! I feel like you just grabbed my by the shoulders, shook me around a bit and then slapped me in the face a couple times… in a good way!

  71. Damian Thompson Says:

    My boxing coach told me how to tell the fighters from the non-fighters when I was a teenager. Simply he said… “fighters fight, talkers talk.”

    Serves in almost any business situation as well…

  72. jenn Says:

    I wholeheartedly agree, Julien. I’ve always felt this way. Plainly put, I think a lot of people just don’t want the responsibility of their own Lives. It’s far easier to do less and blame someone else when Life fails them.

  73. Tony Says:

    Good post. People will “shoot the shit” about cool stuff they are going to do all day long. The personal development forums and blogs are infested with people who talk the talk but never get around to actually DOING anything about it. Let’s face it, doing stuff is a lot harder than talking about it. My philosophy is JUST DO IT – and yes, I borrowed that from Nike :) After all what the hell does it matter, we’re all going to be dead soon anyway! :)

  74. Selina Says:

    Awesome, I love this post!

  75. Fernando Says:

    Hahaha, nice post.
    We all sometimes need something like this to remember what we are made of (hope we are made of something strong)
    Hope to see you around

  76. Shay Says:

    I just stumbled upon your blog today and I officially love it! Wowza! What a post! And swear to God, I just had this talk with myself yesterday! Keep up the good work!

  77. Daan van den Bergh Says:

    Dude, I appreciate the language. It shows dedication and it seriously motivates me into reading more. GREAT!

    Seriously, I stumbled upon your blog today and I’m hooked. I subscribed and honestly, you’ve opened up a can of inspiration that’s been in the fridge for way too long. Luckily it’s not passed it’s expiration date. Anyway, I might steel your “Social Hacks”-category for my blog, cause I’ve got a couple of tricks of my own!

    Your awesome.

    Daan

  78. Michele Welch Says:

    First time on your site…you were mentioned on NittyGriddy. You are freakin’ awesome! I laughed my ass off! So on point…it’s all a bunch of BS and excuses and if you just get off your ass and take action you will move forward…simple!

    Love the article. ;-)

  79. Sire Says:

    This is a pretty different viewpoint but I’m not sure that the problem is being close to the edge as much as being too bloody lazy to do the work that’s involved to be successful.

    I’ve been close to the edge a few times and there was one time when I made a decision and that decision cost me a few hundred thousand dollars. It had nothing to do with being scared of losing money or anything it had more to do with being too lazy to maintain a property that was several hours away.

  80. Ryan Critchett Says:

    I couldn’t agree more.

    Self help said “Be Positive,” I think “Stop Being a Fucking Pussy” is definitely a better message.

    I’ll absolutely use this on myself next time I have a Pussy Moment.

    RC

  81. Jonathan Richman Says:

    Why not combine this idea with one of the year’s favorite memes, xtranormal?

    I went with “guru” instead of expert.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDhOPMMSDZA

  82. Michael LaRocca Says:

    Cool. How do I get the popover for my site?

  83. Ivan Hernandez Says:

    Man …. as Bob Burg says “it’s all about having an impact on people’s lives”. Trust me … You my friend are impacting a lot of people … big time! … Awesome post.
    Cheers,
    Ivan

  84. Barry Says:

    Do you know why I hate pop-ups? Because if I’m a first-time visitor to your site, I don’t know anything about you OR your site yet – so why should I give you my email?

    Yeah, perhaps I will want to sign up when I’ve had a chance to look around but I just clicked some link and came over here. Why are you bugging me about this now?

    From a co-author of a book called ‘Trust Agents’, shouldn’t you really try and gain my trust before asking me to sign up for ANYTHING?

    I can’t believe that so many blogs which talk about new, communicative, inclusive, collaborative, permission-based business models can contemplate using this kind of crap.

    Subscription pop-ups, regardless of how ‘edgy’ they are, belong to the old broadcast marketing model that looks more and more outdated every day.

    Take your own advice, stop being a fucking pussy and whoring for more subscribers – if you write good enough content, people will sign-up any without having to be spammed to death before they even get to see what your site LOOKS like.

    Am I the only one who thinks there’s a paradox here?

  85. Matches Malone Says:

    I’m the statistical anomaly I would think, as my answer to your alleged rhetorical question is, “Being divorced and homeless.”

  86. framling Says:

    Amen brother. Spot on. No apologies. Except the popup thing. That’s just evil(but funny!).

  87. simon Says:

    Finally someone bringing it to the point.
    Thats actually my first comment on a blog post, and my first subscription to a wbsite ever :).

    Bring it on man!

  88. Aza Says:

    Definitely should have used this image http://bit.ly/gv8axq as the graphic. I had the t-shirt in the 90′s (when it was still cool).

  89. A Reader Says:

    Wow. You are a fucktard. Ever heard of the phrase “IT’S NOT THAT EASY???” Go ahead. Call me a pussy. But it’s because people like you have raped me like one. =)

  90. Anthony McDavid Says:

    An entire blog dedicated to not being a pussy: http://alljapaneseallthetime.com/blog/

  91. tony Says:

    Gosh, I don’t know about using annoying pop-overs. I think that just sends people away from your site, never to return.
    But, I must say, I LOVE the design of this blog!
    Excellent!

  92. Amanda Pingel Says:

    So the first time I read this post, I was mildly offended. I mean, yes it makes some good points, but I felt it came on too strongly.

    Only, today I needed to make a point on my blog about taking a “risk” when there’s actually no downside, and you know what’s the perfect way to say that? “Stop being a f***ing pussy.”

    So I withdraw my objection and tip my hat to you. (And also link to your blog post).

  93. Gretgor Says:

    Dude, that’s so true. I need to stop being a fucking pussy myself, and start doing my shit, and then maybe I can actually think of success.

    Thanks, man, you’re totally right.

    I’ve got to tackle some calculus exercises I was afraid of before I read this.

  94. BL Says:

    Mate – thanks for writing this and sharing with everyone. Too right.
    Was the kick up the pants that I needed.

    Onwards and upwards!
    X

  95. Jennifer Jinx Etling Says:

    Julien,
    Being that your a writer and artist yourself- I am sure you would not be all to pleased if someone took your work and used it in association with the words “Fucking” and “Pussy”. I am also quite sure that you would not like it if folks took your work and used it in their publicity sites for their own gain/purpose.
    You did not ask for permission to use this photograph of my daughter. I did post it on a public site, however I did apply creative commons. This photograph is currently publish in a book, where the author had asked for permission to use the photo and he also gave me appropriate credit where it is due.

    I would like you to take my photograph off your site.
    Thanks.

  96. Jose Tacobender Says:

    So what do you do when you almost achieved what you want, had a devastating drawback, and now really don’t give a shit?

    • Bryan Says:

      Man up, get a new goal, and get moving! Think you are the only person in the history of time that’s had a big setback? This nation was created by men who’s greatest triumphs came AFTER thier biggest defeats! Quit acting like a Frenchman and start acting like an American! Love ya like a brother!

  97. Amanda Says:

    Nailed it! I’ll resound those words in my head everytime I’m being completely lame. I wish you were there for me 3 years ago!

  98. Bryan Says:

    Oh my God you frickin rock!! You remind me of my drill sergeant from my Army days! You are so damn right! We are a nation of a few people with actual balls who are fucking the shit out of the rest of us pussies! Man up, get a pair, and get to work!!

  99. Nikki Says:

    Makes me think this is what Gary Keller would say from stage but Mo Anderson won’t let him! Love it!

  100. Felix Says:

    Thanks for writing what I know, but never said out loud.

  101. Dominic Says:

    Blunt and totally necessary. This really made me question myself throughout the past couple of days. For everything I am thinking about doing I stop and think to myself, “Do I want this?” and when the answer is yes then I tell myself to just fucking do it. If the total of all our choices becomes who we are then I want to be the guy who does what he wants and gets what he wants because I put the work in and while everyone else was slacking off, I’ll be working towards my goals. And I will always remember what a college professor once told me. “Enjoy the journey, not just the destination.” Peace!

  102. Anin Says:

    Well, my initial challenge was to get up and vacuum which turned into doing the dishes, which turned into my decision to conquer my fear of crowded public places (chicago in general) which turned into me decided that my life changes today. So, I started a blog: http://movingbeyondthebox.wordpress.com/ So, now I not only have a commitment to myself but, to anyone who cares. Or even doesn’t, I don’t care. It’s really just motivation for me :)

  103. Reagan Says:

    A friend linked me this. Gotta say, amazing post. So much so that I linked to your blog on mine, and am sharing this post with people there.

    Thank you. You inspired me today, and hopefully began a long lasting change in me.

  104. Julius Smith Says:

    This made me realize that the first step to anything productive is quitting out of firefox.

  105. Julius Smith Says:

    “He’s right, I’m a fucking pussy. I accept myself for being a lazy, worthless, stubborn, ignorant loser but I can change and I will! Thanks for the inspiration! I’m totally gonna change my whole life overnight now! Then maybe tomorrow someone will tell me that I’m a winner! Wait, I’m being too mutable, too impressionable, It’s like I’m an empty shell waiting for the opinions of others to give me a temporary sense of identity that will give me enough confidence to get through the week. That makes me a pussy! Oh no! but… wait… I am a pussy! Just like this article says… and.. I’m gonna change! Tonight!!! Thank you Jesus!”

  106. keith Says:

    thanks bud.

  107. Crushed babies Says:

    Aeticles like these are just like that Seinfeld episode where Kramer takes karate and tells a self doubting Elaine that he learned to believe in himself which enabled him to dominate the dojo. This inspires Elaine to design the urban sombrero. She goes to the dojo to thank Kramer and learns that he is beating up 5 year old kids.
    Ie, this article is BS
    I saw another fake motivational site that said ” the last thing you need is another system that forces you to fit into their mold…..here, buy our book, a sure fire system that works”

  108. trevor buckner Says:

    i just read this and now im going to fucking try to not be such a pussy

  109. trevor buckner Says:

    i just read this and now im going to fucking try to not be such a pussy.

  110. Mikael Grönfelt Says:

    The message is basically “you need to put an effort into things to get them done”, it’s not that radical if you take away the cursing. Yet loads of people are sitting there feeling a little better cause they imagine things will change just by reading this amazing text.

    Come on people, what the hell are you doing here, wasting your time reading and commenting this blog anyway? Is that really what you want to spend your time doing? Or is it just that it’s pretty comfy to just sit and be called a pussy, while imagining that it’s game-changing?

  111. Horatio Marteleira Says:

    Holy shit! I just stumbled into a pussy party, and now here I am up to my chest in pubic floss.
    Hey, I enjoyed the conversation and the post (really) but all this pussy-talking has wetted my apetite for a mellow moment at a minamilist bar. Thanks for the shot in the arm. As Leonard Cohen says “everybody knows the score” (or something to that effect)…but pretends they don’t until a celebrity says otherwise. I love this free therapy, where were you when I was born?

  112. Leo Says:

    Thanks for this… It’ll save me money on therapy!

  113. Tina Says:

    hey, Julien! you’re absolutely priceless! this post is the best gift I’ve got for my birthday today.

  114. Andrew Says:

    As a 2:1 graduate who’s done a tonne of things to boot and has still hasn’t been able to find work for 7 months, I just want to say that this message offends me greatly. Good luck ‘n’ all though.

  115. Caroline Says:

    Hey Julien,

    Just found you, not sure what i clicked on from where but your how to triple your twitter kept opening up when I’d open a browser not currently using. Read it, led me to this. Just what i needed to hear. I’m being a total fucking pussy with setting up my blog, procrastinating like a pussy cos I’m scared of how ill look, what people will say. Fuck them! Its the others that I’m reaching out to. Here goes. I’m not going to change the whole blog design again. It will do. For now. I’m going live.
    Thank you.

    Oh by the way I tried to subscribe with your embedded link but not working. No worries, I’m intrigued, Ill find your main opt in now.

    Thanks.
    Time to roll up the sleeves and get down to business.

    Caroline

  116. ricky Says:

    i stumbled upon this blog last year when i randomly decided to google “fuck people”. i came across this post, and in some strange, weird way, it inspired me to do something i’d been wanting to do for the past 10 years: try LSD. that weekend, i drove 50 miles to haight/ashbury in san francisco and found what i was looking for in less than 5 minutes. my life has dramatically changed since (in amazing ways.) i also changed a bunch of other people’s lives as a result. i also discovered jason silva (some technological/futurist/philosophical-poet/youtube dude who presents these amazing, conscious-expanding ideas) when i googled some phrase that i saw on a card you posted (to understand is to perceive patterns). this blog ignited the flame that would radically change my perspective on life. my mind has been opened dramatically. so just wanted to say THANK YOU!

  117. Jenny Says:

    Thank you for that much needed wake up call/kick in the ass!

  118. douglas fairchild Says:

    I can tell by your spunky go get ‘em attitude that you’ve never had severe PTSD symptoms. you may have had anxiety issues but you couldn’t possibly say “quit being a pussy” if every minute every day you felt pain and like your life is over. this is like going to a hole in the wall bar and finding the sadest person in there and rallying up a bunch of people to hate him or mock him. many, if not all PTSD people are embarrassed of this and are commonly unaccepted. the only plus side to all this is that I realized how much things ive said in the past probably hurt people really bad. I know what it feels like. but I still feel dead inside so who knows if i’ll be able to be the better person I want to be. I think this cause is a huge mistake and could contribute to many suicides. its one thing to be mean to someone and keep it to yourself (still not good but if you had to vent that because of personal problems, probably wont be so bad). but to influence a massive amount of people throughout the country to make PTSD victims black sheep, is absolutely awful. I heard a statistic that more people in the military or were in the military die of suicide than die from war. that is insane and should not be happening. I personally have hit rock bottom. ive become so isolated that its hard for me to leave the house. I spend all my time trying to block the pain with substances. am I just being a pussy? people are different. one of the few things im not a pussy about is fighting. but if someone was in as much fights as me, who knows, maybe they would develop PTSD. and I gotta tell you…I havn’t let many people call me a pussy. those are fightin’ words. and I read some LSD posts. that’s awful. people with severe anxiety might kill themselves if they were on LSD. like I said…I hit rock bottom…that’s making me aggressively seek help to see if I can get better and make something of my life…because I have no choice…if I don’t get better I will die or manage to stay alive while drowning in misery. me and people like me are easy targets. its easy to write a blog or a comment. if you feel youre smart and want to make a difference, I don’t think starting with people with PTSD is a good plan. why don’t you take your own advice and do something more challenging that will benefit people going through this and motivate them through kindness to make a difference. or do you want me to die? how many of you in this forum want me to die? I want to hear it. I can think of a few people in history who wanted people to die because they were different. I assume that’s not your objective but that’s basically what survival of the fittest is. this is difficult for me to write as I feel im already under enough scrutiny. I don’t have anyone I can talk to and if I try to make a journal entry to vent which is what my shrink suggested, I have people judging me and spreading rumors. so I would appreciate if you left me alone but I feel like I had to speak up because I know the damage that this can cause and will cause. there are different phases of PTSD. if someone seems happy they could be living in denial (and I think after what I read, I think its a phase everyone with PTSD goes through) and them telling you about it is them trying to seek acceptance. don’t damage them to the point where they might kill themselves.

  119. douglas fairchild Says:

    you guys want to take another shot at me? want to make fun of me more? want to step on my balls? I sat down in the marine corps recruiting office and I was asked what job I would like to have and what test score I think I would be able to get. I just said give me the lowest score and a gun. if that sounds like a pussy then maybe you got some reflecting to do…how about this…how about all you people who have a problem with people like me meet me at a field with a news team. I don’t care how many thousands of people. you want to hurt me lets go to war. and I want the news to film me getting beaten to death by people who have no fucking idea what they are talking about. cuz I gotta tell you. sticks and stones don’t hurt me that much, but your lack of support and cruelty is beating me to death…so go ahead..prepare a nice rebuttal for this comment…you want a fight you fucks…then don’t be a fucking pussy…come beat me to death you pussy fucks

    • douglas fairchild Says:

      im calling all you mother fuckers out…you want to be little pussies and talk behind people’s backs? I’ve been a loner most of my life…one time I got a lot of respect for going to a fight and showing up alone when he had a lot of people and I could have brought more. if you don’t have enough strength to stand your own ground on your own than your a big heaping pile of pussy shit. you need to rally a bunch of people on the internet to scapegoat people with mental disabilities? really? you low life pieces of shit? you feel powerful with everyone else’s support? well I have no one’s support so fuck you…I don’t care how tough you are…how many people you have meet me you bastards…cuz I can’t take any more lip from people hiding behind a computer

      • douglas fairchild Says:

        then I would die for a good cause and shut you self righteous assholes up and stand up for people like me…you want a fuckin war?

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