The pot was $40 million or something yesterday. So for the first time ever, I bought a lottery ticket.
It actually wasn’t for me, it was for a friend. Yeah I know what you’re thinking, but it’s true.
The awkwardness you have when you’re first buying a lottery ticket is akin to when you first go into a pharmacy for condoms. You don’t quite know what the protocol should be. You let them know it isn’t for you. Etc.
“Do you want Extra?” “Ugh, I don’t know. I don’t think so. This isn’t for me.”
So he goes “ok,” and as he hands me my numbers, for the first time, I feel it.
The whole thing happens in seconds. First, I feel this rush like “oh man, I could actually win this thing!”
Then I picture myself not winning, and the disappointment that follows. I imagine myself going “ah, what’s the harm?” and buying another one next week. And another. Etc.
And then, going even further forward in time, I imagine myself having to give up the lottery ticket buying and the feeling that accompanies it. “Oh man, no chance to win this week. Too bad, I guess.”
It’s at this time that I realize that I can never buy lottery tickets ever again.
That little rush that comes with getting tickets; the anticipation; starting the feeling over again next week. Everything. I feel it.
One time I was playing a Nintendo DS game– I think it was a Final Fantasy game– when I ended up in a casino location inside the game. I go “meh, what the hell,” and I play a few times. I win.
“Wow,” I think. “Ok, I’ll go on a little more.” And I proceed to continue to play the game, the game inside the game that is, for about 3 hours. Next thing I know it’s about 4am and I’ve been losing, pretty much non-stop.
But I’m convinced I can get it back. CONVINCED.
Even crazier, right at that moment, at 4am, inside the Final Fantasy casino, I’m convinced that winning it back matters.